to be patient for what seems like forever.

I have heard the screams

of all those that have gone before me

and not knowing if the screams

are of horror or of joy

makes the whole process even more exhilarating.

weaving in and out

of  structured chained paths has finally paid off.

Someone is waiting for me

to grab his hand and jump into the unknown,

promising me the ride of my life.

I reach out and jump right in.

Stuck now, buckled and belted, unable to turn back

even if I wanted to.

Things start out slowly,

but enough time spent moving

even slowly on a one way track

will lead you to the bottom of an intimidating incline.

Excitement, lust, and proclaimed love

push us to the top, and for a moment

we teeter there on the edge

staring into each others eyes, impatiently savoring

those last bittersweet seconds

of the untainted unknown. And then we fall

forward, fast, uncontrolled. The first decent

is always the worst, the scariest, yet

simultaneously the most satisfying.

Breathless, anxious for more,

I grab his hand and scream, barely

concealing the excitement and my raw need.

It is everything I hoped for. Intense

physical and emotional feelings roll over one another

as we twist and turn along the track

laid out before us. I silently and furiously fight,

yet the soft voice gently scolds,  constantly

reminding me of what I already know.

This experience can not be new forever

and eventually the trill will fade.

We will be left with nothing but each other,

nothing but who we are

in the monotony of daily life,

I tried to stop the rubber swimming pool

from emptying water all over the lawn.

The platform it sat on was uneven,

built carelessly out of frustration

because of it’s necessity. An assault

against the desire of instant satisfaction.

It was so much water, too much

to be wasted on already green grass.

Moment by moment

An unattended hose carried its contents into the pool,

and it grew fatter and fatter

until the platform upon which it sat failed.

A corner of the cold rubber pool sank lower than the rest

And out poured everything,

abiding by the unavoidable laws

of physics, architecture, and gravity,

.Everything, all of it, precious water

that people throughout the world fight over

and die without, drained in minutes.

I saw it happen and could do nothing.

I tried to hold up the offending corner but

I was weaker than the flow of the outpouring.

I am what I am and in that moment

it was not enough.

And I was left alone.

Freezing, pathetic, and helpless,

alone to be crushed and drowned.

I knew it was a pointless, pathetic effort

even before I placed my hands on the cold rubber

and felt the icy cold Lake Superior water

flow across my arms.

[this poem is "Pathetic Pool" after revision]